Tag: Pop Stith

Here, Take My Blackjack

Dad did not help the seven kids he had by my mother with their homework, or show them how build a go-cart, or take them fishing. He was not that kind of father. However, he did try to be helpful when he could.

One of my older brothers, Pop, told me that when he was a teenager he got the daylights beaten out of him by a guy who was 20 or 21 years old — they were fighting over a young lady.

Blackjack
Blackjack

Like any good Dad should, Pop said our father offered to whip the guy himself, since he considered him old enough to be a grown man.

But Pop said he would take care of it.

Dad offered Pop his blackjack, just to even things up a little.

But Pop said, “No.”

Well at least take my brass knuckles, our father said.

Postscript: Pop told me he won the rematch, fair and square, with just his fists.

Dad’s Fighting Rules

  • If the boy is smaller than you are, try to get out of fighting him if you can do it gracefully.
  • If he’s your size, fight fair.
  • If he’s bigger than you are, anything goes: get behind him and hit him in the head with a 2 x 4 if you can.
  • But you must not hit a girl under any circumstance. Hitting a girl is unmanly.

NOTE: One day before we got married, out of the clear blue sky, Donna Joy Hyland told me, “You’re not going to hit me but one time.”  I’d given her no reason to say anything like that. I guess she just wanted no misunderstanding on that point.

Coming Monday: Oh, No! Broke Down in Hog Country

Payback!

I don’t remember what my brother, Pop, had done to me. Kicked me out of bed on a winter night, probably. Pop, Brother Dave and I slept in double bed in the “boys room” at our farm near Gadsden, Alabama, and sometimes Pop made me sleep on the floor. He was eight years older, so there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Or was there?

This is not Pop, or his car. But this is how he started it.
This is not Pop, or his car. But this is how he started it.

Pop had an old car — and I do mean old. I don’t remember the make or model, but I do remember he started it with a hand crank.

I decided to put nails under all four tires, back and front, so no matter which way he went all four tires would be punctured. And then I got to thinking about it and decided that would be too obvious. I’d get caught.

So I picked one tire. I propped nails against the front and back of the tire and covered them with dirt.

It worked. Payback! And he never suspected a thing.

Coming Friday: The Audit