Kid Talk

Tell Me The Truth

For a number of years Donna, my wife, worked as a substitute teacher where she learned not to smile before 3 p.m., when school let out.

Smiling emboldens them.

The little devils are always probing for weakness, even the second graders, one of whom asked her:

“Are you a real teacher?”

Keep It Simple

When our eight year old granddaughter came to spend the night our next door neighbor, Myra Hicks, brought her granddaughter over so the girls could meet each other and play.

Tearnan with her dog, x
Tearnan with her dog, Halo

Before they arrived my wife instructed our granddaughter how to remember, and pronounce, her company’s name.

“Her name is Tear’-nan,” Donna said. “Tear, like a tear in your eye, nan.”

“Why didn’t they just call her Rose?” our granddaughter asked.

What Happened To Your Car?

When our boys were growing up our car usually looked like we lived in it.  It still does.  Anyway, I guess they thought that was normal.

When Mark was little boy he got in Brother Dave’s new car, glanced at the floorboard and asked, “Where are the newspapers?”

“What papers?” Dave replied.

“The newspapers that come with the car,” Mark said.

Coming Friday: Government Misadventures

The Porcupine

If you go to breakfast at a McDonald’s or a Hardee’s or almost any fast food restaurant that sells sausage biscuits and coffee you’re likely to see a table of old timers sitting around, chewing the fat.

That’s the setting for a story Viking told me one day when we were hiking the Appalachian Trail, on the way to Maine.

He said his daddy, whose name is Richard, lives in Pennsylvania.  He’s a farmer, a dark-to-dark kind of job for a good part of the year, but not in the winter. In the winter Richard drives to town most mornings, meets up and eats breakfast with other old farmers, friends of his, and they talk about this and that.

Porcupine
Porcupine

Viking said one morning they were sitting around having breakfast when his daddy told them, “I shot a porcupine yesterday.”

One of his friends said to him, “Richard, porcupines are protected.”

“This one wasn’t,” Richard said.

NOTE: Later on the Pennsylvania Gaming Commission  changed the rules, allowing porcupines to be hunted part of the year.

Coming Monday:  Kid Talk