The Whale

In the early 1990’s, when I was an investigative reporter working for The News & Observer in Raleigh, I was given a glass whale about the size of a small banana in recognition of the work I had done.

Get it? I had done “a whale of a job.” It was only a trinket but it’s the thought that counts, right?

The whale
The whale

I figured my whale had come from one of those stores you see in every beach town, the kind that sells towels emblazoned with the Confederate battle flag, tiny bikinis, and t-shirts that say “Topsail Island.”

But when I showed it to my wife, Donna, she noticed a sticker on the bottom of the whale that said: “Baccarat.” My whale was crystal.

Later on I showed it to my mother-in-law, Nell Kiser Hyland, and told her about mistaking it for a trinket. I think she figured that whale was wasted on me, and she asked me to give it to her.

Nell Kiser Hyland
Nell Kiser Hyland

Nell, a really good woman with whom I never had a cross word, had never asked me for anything, so I wanted to give it to her. But I couldn’t. I had already promised our oldest son, Bo, that he could have it when I conked.

But Nell wouldn’t let that idea go and, finally, I said, OK, you can borrow the whale, and keep it until you die. And then I want it back.

She put that whale in her purse right then and there and took it home with her.

Several years passed and I became an editor. One morning, before I came to my senses and went back to reporting, I was in a meeting with other editors who were trying to figure out how to motivate reporters. Someone mentioned the whale-of-a-job whales and asked: How much did those whales cost? I sat up straight, mentally speaking, because that’s something I wanted to know myself. And when I heard the answer I almost fell out of my chair.

And then, believe it or not, I forgot. Oh, cut me some slack. Who remembers every little thing that happened decades ago.

A few days ago I decided to write about the whale and I emailed Frank Daniels III, who was executive editor of The N&O from 1990 to 1996, and asked him how much the paper had paid for the whale-of-a-job whales.

“I paid for them, not the company,” Frank III replied.  “Back then they cost $195 each if I recall correctly, which I thought was too expensive to charge the company.”

I got mine in 1991 or ’92, so how much do you think my whale cost, adjusted for inflation?

At least $350.

And why am I writing about this now?  Nell, who was 97 years old, died last week and the whale, on loan for more than 25 years, has come back home.

NOTE: Frank III also told me, “I gave myself one after I left the newsroom to remind me of what we accomplished, sits on my bookshelf still.”

Coming Monday: Baptists By Chance

Take That, You Bean

Jack Hyland, he loved to laugh, and make other laugh.
Jack Hyland loved to laugh and make others laugh.

 

Jack Hyland like to kid around. That's not his real hair, by the way.
In case you’re wondering, that’s not Jack’s real hair.

                                                                          My wife, Donna Joy  Hyland, and I started dating when we were 17, in the fall of 1959, and, right away, I was crazy about her.  She liked me, too.  It wasn’t long before she invited me home for Sunday dinner with her  family — her father and mother, Jack and Nell; her younger sister, Karen; and her little brother, Eddie.

I accepted, of course. But I wasn’t looking forward to being on guard for an entire meal: Sit up straight; don’t spill the tea; don’t eat too much or too little; keep your elbows off the table and your left hand in your lap; make polite conversation. I think you know the drill, most of you.

Nell, age 41
Nell, at age 41

So there I was, concentrating, when something hit me on the side of my face and fell onto my plate. It was string bean.  Jack Hyland, who was sitting on my left at the head of the table, had flipped a string bean at me with a spoon.

After that, believe me, I relaxed. The pressure was off.

NOTE: When I first met Donna’s mother, Nell Kiser Hyland, I remember thinking:  She’s a good looking woman but she is so old.

Nell was 37.

NOTE:  Here’s another story I posted in January 2017 that was, as the headline said, “Vintage Jack Hyland.”

Coming Monday: Headed Home On Leave