The Accident – Part 1 of 3

Kerry Sipe, a friend and newspaper colleague stood up in our canoe to pee and asked:  “Does this make you nervous?”

I said it did and then, just like that, the canoe turned over, dumping us into the Neuse River.   The water was cold — it was December –and neither of us was wearing a life jacket.

It was also nighttime and Kerry and I were alone.

Kerry Sipe,
Kerry Sipe, about 1972

This was supposed to have been a pleasant, Sunday afternoon stroll, so to speak, down the Neuse, from U.S. 1 to U.S. 64 near Raleigh, N.C.  But we had underestimated the distance and how long it would take.  The sun had gone down but the moon was full.  It was a beautiful night.

The canoe didn’t sink and both of us grabbed hold. His camera and my glasses had gone to the bottom of the river and I didn’t want to lose the canoe too.  It was borrowed.

Pat Stith, mid-1970s
Pat Stith, mid-1970s

I had brought a life jacket but Kerry hadn’t and I didn’t consider it sporting to put on my life jacket on when he didn’t have one.  So I had laid it in the canoe between us and now my life jacket was floating away.

I asked Kerry to grab it.

He let go of the canoe, swam three or four strokes, grabbed it, clutched it to his chest, and was swept away, caught in the current.  I clung to the slowly drifting canoe. We yelled back and forth for a few minutes as the distance between us grew. And then he went around a bend in the river and disappeared.  After that I could only hear the river.

I was a good swimmer.  But I was wearing cowboy boots and winter clothing, including a jacket, and I decided not to risk trying to swim for the nearest bank.  I figured I could hang on to the canoe for as long as I had to, in spite of the cold.

It had been raining a lot and the Neuse was out of its banks in places.  Here and there, the bank had given way and a tree had fallen into the water. Sooner or later the canoe had to drift into a downed tree and I’d be able to climb up through the branches.

And that’s what happened.  I climbed through the top of a tree, to the bottom, to the bank of the river.

I was safe, at last.  But where was Kerry?

Continued tomorrow.

He Might Be A Redneck

I think my son Mark might be a redneck but you judge.

He ran over a bullfrog with a lawnmower and had frog legs for supper.  Doesn’t that make you a redneck, eating what you kill with a lawnmower?

The eyeball incident is more evidence.

Mark Stith
Mark Stith

Mark was cutting metal without putting on his safety glasses — no need, it was a small job — when a tiny piece of metal flew up and stuck in one of his eyeballs. Mark, eyes wide open, walked to the kitchen, got a magnet off the refrigerator door, and used it to pull the shard out of his eye.

But I think the roofing accident is the clincher.

Mark fell through a rotten roof board and ripped his calf open on a sharp piece of tin. It bled like crazy, so much it occurred to him that he could bleed to death before he got to a doctor.  Somehow he was able to hold his calf together with one hand and still climb off the roof and down the ladder.  And then he stopped the bleeding, drove himself to a doc-in-the-box, and got 30-some stitches.

How did he stop the bleeding?

He’s a Southerner, isn’t he?  He duck taped it.

Postscript: On second thought, that magnet thing isn’t all that bad an idea.

Coming Friday: The Accident, Part 1 of 3