A Man And A Half

When my wife, Donna, and I were in our 20’s, Mary Porter and her husband, Herb, invited us to spend the weekend at her parent’s farm in Walnut, North Carolina.

It would be a threefer weekend:

***Donna and Mary were close friends, still are, and they would be able to talk all day and half the night.

Bo Stith, Johnny Porter, Mark Stith and Herbie Porter
Bo Stith, Johnny Porter, Mark Stith and Herbie Porter, L to R. Not in this photo: Stevie Porter

***Our boys and their boys were about the same age and they would play in the creek together.

***Herb and I would help Mary’s father, William Shelton, harvest his burley tobacco.

Herb had told William that he was bringing a man and a half up there to help him — Herb being the man, me being the half a man — so the pressure was on.

Burley tobacco, ready to be hauled off and hung in barns.
Burley tobacco, ready to be hauled off and hung in barns.

Burley tobacco, grown in the mountains, is not harvested by the leaf, like Eastern North Carolina flue-cured tobacco. It’s harvested by the stalk. Five or six stalks are speared onto a stick, and then leaned against each other, like a wigwam, for a few days until the leaves wilt.

Our job was to carry those sticks of tobacco to a trailer, hauled them to a barn, and hang them up to cure.

At first it was easy. You grabbed a stick by both ends, held it high over your head so the top leaves wouldn’t drag on the ground, walked to the trailer, and piled them up.  Nothing to it.

Then you carried another stick of tobacco. And another one. And another.

This was a mountain farm so there were a lot of good size rocks in the field and they would trip you if you weren’t careful.  Sometimes they’d trip you even if you were careful. You could trip on a tobacco plant stob too, and they were everywhere.   And as the day began to heat up, I began to wear down a little.

Burley tobacco handing in a barn
Burley tobacco hanging in a barn.

Each time we filled the wagon  William or Herb would climb up on William’s  tractor and pull the trailer to a curing barn.  And then we would hang the sticks, starting at the top of the barn and working our way down.

Noontime was such a blessing — I needed a break.  Mary’s mother, Pearl, cooked an enormous dinner, couple of meats, four or five vegetables, two desserts. It was good eating, and I needed every calorie.

After dinner we went back to the the field and each stick of tobacco I carried seemed to weigh a little more than the last one.  I was a newspaperman so I was not accustomed to real work. [I only had one tiny  callus, on the side of my left thumb from hitting the space bar on my typewriter.]  Even so, I made it though Day One.  One more day and I’d be headed home with my pride intact.

That evening Pearl cooked another big meal and I ate my share and then some, maybe.  After supper I excused myself, took a bath, and by 8 o’clock I was in bed. In a few seconds, I was asleep.

When I woke up I knew I wasn’t going to make it through Day Two — I hadn’t recovered from Day One. I told my wife these exact words, I remember them well: “They’ve got me.”

Donna, who had just finished talking with Mary and come to bed –that’s what woke me up — said the sweetest thing to me. She said, “It’s not time to get up, Pat. It’s 3 o’clock in the morning.”

Postscript: I did just fine on Day Two.

Coming Monday: The Pencil Check

The Wasp Nest

 

Wasps on their nest.
Wasps on their nest.

We were barning Burley tobacco on William Shelton’s farm near Walnut, 26 miles northwest of Asheville, N.C., when Herb Porter spotted a wasp nest hanging from the roof of the tobacco barn, a big nest, big as a man’s hand.

This isn't Herb Porter, but this is the way you hang Burley tobacco.
This isn’t Herb Porter, or me, but this is the way you hang Burley tobacco.

  Herb was standing spread eagle on two rows of logs, one boot on one log, one boot on the other. The logs were about three feet apart, wide enough to accommodate the sticks of tobacco stalks we were hanging.

He was way up there, at the top of barn.  Fall from there and you’re going to get hurt real bad.

I was standing spread eagle on logs further down, taking sticks of tobacco from Herb’s brother-in-law, Alfie Shelton, who was standing in the bed of the truck, and handing them on up to Herb. When I heard Herb say “wasp nest,” I scrambled down fast as I could. I went over the barn door, ready to run. But Herb just stood there, spread eagle, not three feet from a nest covered with those black and yellow devils.

Pat and Mark Stith, L to R, and Herbie and Herb Porter
Pat and Mark Stith, L to R, and Herbie and Herb Porter, on the wasp weekend.

“Alfie,” he said, “get me a cup of No. 2 fuel oil.”

Herb stayed right where he was while Alfie pumped No. 2 fuel oil out of a drum stored in the barn. They had done this before. When Alfie had enough he climbed up two or three tiers of logs, and handed the cup to Herb.

Without hesitating Herb threw the fuel oil all over that nest and wasps began raining down onto the barn’s dirt floor, dead.  He killed them all.

And then Herb dropped the empty cup and told me to hand him another stick of tobacco. Time to get back to work.

Coming Monday: It’s A Good Life