Popeye The Sailor Man

Don’t tell me.  I already know how goofy this is going to sound to you.  But it’s the way it was.

I was an investigative reporter for more 35 years and during that time I conducted hundreds of hostile interviews, what I called “showdown” interviews.   For an interview like that I would study the documents I had gathered along with transcripts of preliminary interviews and carefully prepare each question.

Sometimes I would be forced to abandon my plan and improvise.  But that careful preparation — knowing I had done everything I could to get ready — gave me confidence and helped me switch to a new line of questions.

An old cartoon song also helped ready me for the mental pushing and shoving.

The state government office complex was only a few blocks away and I usually walked to those interviews.  I would go out the back door of The News & Observer, across a parking deck behind our building, and then turn left on Salisbury Street.  

Popeye
Popeye

And in my head Popeye’s theme song would begin playing.  You know the tune I’m talking about if you’ve ever watched cartoons.

Bluto, the big bearded guy who was always after Popeye’s girlfriend, would tie up Popeye and then try to run away with Olive Oyl. Popeye would suck spinach out of a can with his corn cob pipe — which gave him way more strength — the tune would play, “Ta, ta, ta, ta — ta ta…” and Popeye would break the chains, punch Bluto in the nose, and rescue Olive Oyl.

As I walked to the showdown I’d put a fresh chew of Red Man tobacco in my jaw, sort of like Popeye and his spinach, and play that tune over and over in my head.

And I’d say to myself, “I’m ready. You better be ready.”

Coming Friday: The Gift Of Life

 

The Whale

In the early 1990’s, when I was an investigative reporter working for The News & Observer in Raleigh, I was given a glass whale about the size of a small banana in recognition of the work I had done.

Get it? I had done “a whale of a job.” It was only a trinket but it’s the thought that counts, right?

The whale
The whale

I figured my whale had come from one of those stores you see in every beach town, the kind that sells towels emblazoned with the Confederate battle flag, tiny bikinis, and t-shirts that say “Topsail Island.”

But when I showed it to my wife, Donna, she noticed a sticker on the bottom of the whale that said: “Baccarat.” My whale was crystal.

Later on I showed it to my mother-in-law, Nell Kiser Hyland, and told her about mistaking it for a trinket. I think she figured that whale was wasted on me, and she asked me to give it to her.

Nell Kiser Hyland
Nell Kiser Hyland

Nell, a really good woman with whom I never had a cross word, had never asked me for anything, so I wanted to give it to her. But I couldn’t. I had already promised our oldest son, Bo, that he could have it when I conked.

But Nell wouldn’t let that idea go and, finally, I said, OK, you can borrow the whale, and keep it until you die. And then I want it back.

She put that whale in her purse right then and there and took it home with her.

Several years passed and I became an editor. One morning, before I came to my senses and went back to reporting, I was in a meeting with other editors who were trying to figure out how to motivate reporters. Someone mentioned the whale-of-a-job whales and asked: How much did those whales cost? I sat up straight, mentally speaking, because that’s something I wanted to know myself. And when I heard the answer I almost fell out of my chair.

And then, believe it or not, I forgot. Oh, cut me some slack. Who remembers every little thing that happened decades ago.

A few days ago I decided to write about the whale and I emailed Frank Daniels III, who was executive editor of The N&O from 1990 to 1996, and asked him how much the paper had paid for the whale-of-a-job whales.

“I paid for them, not the company,” Frank III replied.  “Back then they cost $195 each if I recall correctly, which I thought was too expensive to charge the company.”

I got mine in 1991 or ’92, so how much do you think my whale cost, adjusted for inflation?

At least $350.

And why am I writing about this now?  Nell, who was 97 years old, died last week and the whale, on loan for more than 25 years, has come back home.

NOTE: Frank III also told me, “I gave myself one after I left the newsroom to remind me of what we accomplished, sits on my bookshelf still.”

Coming Monday: Baptists By Chance