Dad did not help the seven kids he had by my mother with their homework, or show them how build a go-cart, or take them fishing. He was not that kind of father. However, he did try to be helpful when he could.
One of my older brothers, Pop, told me that when he was a teenager he got the daylights beaten out of him by a guy who was 20 or 21 years old — they were fighting over a young lady.
Like any good Dad should, Pop said our father offered to whip the guy himself, since he considered him old enough to be a grown man.
But Pop said he would take care of it.
Dad offered Pop his blackjack, just to even things up a little.
But Pop said, “No.”
Well at least take my brass knuckles, our father said.
Postscript: Pop told me he won the rematch, fair and square, with just his fists.
Dad’s Fighting Rules
- If the boy is smaller than you are, try to get out of fighting him if you can do it gracefully.
- If he’s your size, fight fair.
- If he’s bigger than you are, anything goes: get behind him and hit him in the head with a 2 x 4 if you can.
- But you must not hit a girl under any circumstance. Hitting a girl is unmanly.
NOTE: One day before we got married, out of the clear blue sky, Donna Joy Hyland told me, “You’re not going to hit me but one time.” I’d given her no reason to say anything like that. I guess she just wanted no misunderstanding on that point.
Coming Monday: Oh, No! Broke Down in Hog Country
