One evening I went with friends and family to an ice cream parlor to enjoy my favorite treat. We sat in a booth big enough for the six of us and pretty soon the waitress came around and took our orders.
When my turn came I ordered a banana split.
Banana splits have a scoop or two of three kinds of ice cream, strawberry, chocolate and vanilla, nestled between two halves of a banana cut end to end. Pineapple, chocolate, and strawberry syrups are poured over the ice cream — and nuts, too. Whipped cream goes on the very top and, usually, a single cherry.
I like all kinds of nuts, but not on a banana split. So I told the waitress, “I want everything but the nuts.”
“We don’t have any nuts,” she replied.
“That’s OK, because I don’t want any nuts,” I said.
“We don’t have any nuts,” she said, more loudly. People at my table began to laugh.
“Ma’am,” I said, as politely as can be, “I don’t want any nuts.”
“I TOLD YOU! WE DON’T HAVE ANY NUTS!”
“OK,” I said.
NOTE: The S & T Soda Shoppe in Pittsboro, N.C., has the biggest and best banana splits I’ve ever eaten.
Postscript: If I don’t just drop dead, if I get a death notice from my doctor –you know what I’m talking about, when he or she looks sad and tells you: “You have six months to live.” — if and when I get my notice I’m going to eat ice cream every day for the rest of my life. With no nuts.
Coming Monday: The Favor