I think my son Mark might be a redneck but you judge.
He ran over a bullfrog with a lawnmower and had frog legs for supper. Doesn’t that make you a redneck, eating what you kill with a lawnmower?
The eyeball incident is more evidence.
Mark was cutting metal without putting on his safety glasses — no need, it was a small job — when a tiny piece of metal flew up and stuck in one of his eyeballs. Mark, eyes wide open, walked to the kitchen, got a magnet off the refrigerator door, and used it to pull the shard out of his eye.
But I think the roofing accident is the clincher.
Mark fell through a rotten roof board and ripped his calf open on a sharp piece of tin. It bled like crazy, so much it occurred to him that he could bleed to death before he got to a doctor. Somehow he was able to hold his calf together with one hand and still climb off the roof and down the ladder. And then he stopped the bleeding, drove himself to a doc-in-the-box, and got 30-some stitches.
How did he stop the bleeding?
He’s a Southerner, isn’t he? He duck taped it.
Postscript: On second thought, that magnet thing isn’t all that bad an idea.
Coming Friday: The Accident, Part 1 of 3
